Let’s talk about something real, raw, and rarely spoken out loud.
So many women in midlife carry a quiet shame around the changes happening in their bodies.
Shame about the brain fog that makes you forget what you walked into the room for.
Shame about the weight that clings to your middle no matter how disciplined you are.
Shame about the chin hairs you pluck in secret, the hot flushes that make you sweat through your clothes at the worst possible moments, or the moods that seem to rise out of nowhere.
And underneath it all?
Shame about the feeling that your youth is slipping away… while inside, you know you still have so much life left to live.
The Unspoken Embarrassment
You’re not alone if you’ve thought, “This isn’t me. I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
These physical and emotional changes can feel like betrayal. Many women quietly wonder if they’re “getting old” before their time, when really, they’re simply moving through a natural phase of life.
But because we don’t openly talk about these things – the sweats, the tears, the wild moods, the stubborn belly fat, the fuzz on the chin – women often hide their struggles. They downplay them, cover them up, and carry them as a personal embarrassment rather than recognising them as part of a universal female journey.
Why Shame Hurts So Much
Shame thrives in silence. It makes you feel isolated, as though you’re the only one fumbling through this transition.
But here’s the truth: what you’re experiencing is not a personal failing. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s not you “losing control.”
It’s biology. It’s hormones.
It’s the shifting tides of perimenopause and menopause – and every woman experiences them in some form.
When shame takes over, it doesn’t just affect your self-esteem. It robs you of joy, intimacy, and the freedom to live fully in this next beautiful stage of life.
Reframing the Midlife Transition
Instead of hiding, let’s reframe:
Brain fog doesn’t mean you’re broken – it means your brain needs support as hormones shift.
Hot flushes aren’t a weakness – they’re your body communicating imbalance.
Mood swings aren’t “craziness” – they’re signals that your nervous system is under pressure.
And facial hairs or midlife weight? They’re the outward signs of hormonal change – something that can be worked with, not battled in secret.
This transition isn’t about “getting old.” It’s about stepping into your next chapter. You are not fading. You are evolving.
And if we look beyond our Western lens, many cultures remind us of this truth. Across the world, women post-menopause are not diminished, but elevated.
They are celebrated as wise elders, healers, storytellers, and leaders. Their years bring them a depth of knowledge and authority that only lived experience can give.
Menopause is not seen as an ending, but an initiation – a passage into a powerful new chapter where a woman’s wisdom becomes her greatest gift.
5 Gentle Ways to Tackle the Shame & Support Yourself
1. Name it, don’t hide it
The simple act of saying “I’m in perimenopause” or “this is menopause” can take the sting out of shame. Speaking it out loud breaks the secrecy.
2. Find your circle
You don’t need to walk this alone. Connect with other women going through the same transition – whether that’s trusted friends, support groups, or communities like mine where these conversations are safe, honest, and empowering.
3. Nourish your body
Hormones respond powerfully to nutrition. Choosing foods rich in fibre, healthy fats, and quality protein can help steady blood sugar, reduce inflammation, and ease many symptoms that feel overwhelming.
4. Work with, not against, your body
Instead of punishing exercise or crash diets, choose movement that feels good and supports your nervous system. Walking, strength training, yoga, and gentle breathwork can all shift energy and confidence without adding stress.
5. Seek holistic support
Naturopathic care, herbs, nutritional medicine, and lifestyle practices can bring your hormones back into balance. You don’t have to just “put up with it” or accept that this is your new normal.
You’re Not Alone….
Every woman has walked, is walking, or will walk this path. The shame we carry doesn’t belong to us – it’s inherited from a culture that glorifies youth and hides the messy, powerful reality of female midlife.
You still have too much life left in you to feel like you’re “done.” This is not the end of your vibrancy. It’s a chance to reclaim it in a new, wiser, more grounded way.
And if you’re ready to take the next step in supporting your body with compassion (instead of shame), I’d love to invite you into my Free 5-Day Facebook Challenge: Reset Your Midlife Belly.
Over 5 days, we’ll uncover what your belly fat is really telling you, why the old tricks no longer work, and how to finally align with your hormones — so you can feel lighter, clearer, and more at home in your skin.
This isn’t about restriction or willpower. It’s about understanding your body, working with it, and reclaiming your confidence in midlife.
Ready to kick start Gut Health? Book a Call!
This is how gut microbes can influence weight!
Probiotics can help you gain weight or lose weight by interacting with our genetics, food and metabolism.
And yes, I did say lose or gain weight……..
Firstly, let me explain that the trillions of microbes in the gut need to be varied, meaning that there should be a large variety of species. There are many different species (or breeds) of microbes, and they all have their place in aiding health — the more variety and balance, the better health results.
Back to the weight loss or weight gain issue….
Do you eat yogurt and berries for breakfast? Thinking that it’s helping you lose weight?
Well, Lactobacillus acidophilus (like the species found in yoghurt) has been connected to weight gain.
I am not saying throw your yoghurt and berries in the bin. Instead, I am suggesting looking at the overall picture. If Lactobacillus acidophilus is the predominant micro-organism of the gut, then weight gain can result.
It is about the variety of species of gut microbes. Imagine if we only have trained german shepherd guard dogs in the world. It may be a safe world, but I am sure that other breeds may be more suitable as a family pet.
While Lactobacillus acidophilus is associated with weight gain, other Lactobacillus species correlate with weight loss.
Species like Lactobacillus plantarum, Lactobacillus gasseri, and Bifidobacteria animalis have been found to support weight loss.
Want to lose weight?
Look at your gut flora to support your goal.
Tests can be performed to identify the predominant species of the gut, and specific species can be utilised to support weight changes.
Want more information about your gut health?
Or want to look at all the factors contributing to weight gain, I’d love to be able to help.
