Here is a scenario you may be familiar with…..You sit down with a cup of tea. Within ninety seconds, you’ve noticed the washing, remembered an email, thought about the kitchen bench, and you’re back on your feet.
Or you stay seated, and the guilt arrives. A low hum telling you there’s something more useful you should be doing.
Do you find any of the following familiar:
- You feel guilty taking five minutes while there are still things on the list
- You fill every gap, unstacking the dishwasher while the kettle boils
- You tell people you work better under pressure
- You joke that you just can’t sit still
- When you finally stop, you feel edgy instead of rested
I know this pattern firsthand. As a young adult, I left every university assignment until the last possible moment and told myself I worked better under pressure. For years my family and I have joked that I can’t sit still, that I just have to keep going.
Only over the last few years, as my own health and hormones shifted, did I see this pattern for what it was. The need to keep doing things had very little to do with what needed doing. It was a pattern my body had been practising for decades.
How rushing becomes your default
When you’re under pressure, your body releases stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. They sharpen your focus and give you that switched-on feeling.
Cortisol also nudges dopamine, the brain chemical behind motivation and reward. So getting things done in a rush comes with a small chemical pat on the back. The urgency feels productive, and a finished list feels good – right?
That is the real story behind “I work better under pressure”. The pressure was supplying the reward.
When we’re younger, this serves us well. It carries us through study, building a career, babies, broken sleep and running a household. The body has the reserves to absorb the load and bounce back overnight.
Run the same pattern for twenty or thirty years, and the brain adapts to it. The reward from being busy fades, and stillness starts to feel uncomfortable. You sit down and feel restless, guilty, or sure you’ve forgotten something. Getting up and doing something makes the feeling go away, which teaches your brain the pattern all over again.
The urge to keep going tells you about the pattern your body has practised. It says very little about what needs doing.
Why midlife turns the volume up
Progesterone does far more than manage your cycle. Your brain converts it into a calming compound called allopregnanolone, which works on the same receptors as GABA, your main settling brain chemical. Think of it as the brake pedal on your stress response.
In the years leading up to menopause, ovulation becomes hit and miss. Progesterone drops and swings from one cycle to the next, and oestrogen swings with it. Researchers studying this transition suggest these swings make the brake less reliable, so stress hits harder and takes longer to clear.
So you have the same life and the same list, with a stronger stress response and a weaker brake. Rushing now costs more in sleep, digestion, memory and weight around the middle.
It also feeds itself. A body already working hard to steady shifting hormones gets a fresh wave of stress chemistry every time you rush, and the busy cycle keeps itself going.
Finding the middle ground
I watch how easily kids can sit and do nothing, or at least nothing more than be on their devices, without a flicker of guilt. I’d happily leave the devices and borrow the ease.
Somewhere between their stillness and our constant motion – there is a middle ground, and your body can learn it. A system that adapted to pressure can adapt to calm when it’s given the chance, gradually and with the right support.
These days I catch myself when I’m rushing about simply to be busy. I stop, and I give myself permission to rest.
You can start the same way:
- Catch it. Notice the moment you get up to do something that could easily wait.
- Ask. “Does this need doing now, or do I just need to be doing?”
- Stay. Sit for five minutes with nothing in your hands. When the restlessness arrives, stay one more minute. That extra minute is training the body.
Many of us learned by watching our mothers that a good woman is a busy one. I’d love our daughters to learn something different by watching us sit down.
If you recognise yourself here and you’d like help working out what your body needs to settle, book a consultation with me. I’d love to help.
Teressa,
Naturopath | Clinical Nutritionist | Biochemist
Gold Coast Naturopath, Gold Coast Health, Naturopath Australia, Gold Coast Wellness, Holistic Health, Naturopathic Medicine, Functional Health, Midlife, Personalised Healthcare, Midlife Stress
